Summer is here and I love the clothes associated with the season. I get to wear my jean shorts, my Tevas, and my Utilikilt. And I also love the clothes that the ladies wear, short skirts, tank tops, and tube tops (for our friends in the double-wides).
But there is one type of clothing that could be the enemy of the ladies, the plaid pants. I was out and about the other day and I saw a woman wearing capri pants with a plaid pattern on them. I noticed that the plaid, creating an optical illusion, increased the size of her slightly overweight behind at least 50%. Did she know? Should I tell her? Do other women know? Well, that’s why I am here.
Your ass + plaid = your huge ass.
I’m just trying to help.
Now I’m not saying don’t wear plaid pants and shorts. I just want you to know how your scrumptious bum looks when wrapped in a pattern that should only be seen on bagpipes, flannel shirts, and retro golfers. Maybe you have a bumette or bumita and you want to make it look bigger. Plaid would be the way to go.
Don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe that anyone should wear anything they want. If a 400 pound man or woman wants to wear a bikini or Speedo, more power to them! If a person with a great body wants to hide it in baggy clothes, fine! If kids want to wear their pants down to their knees showing everyone their underwear and look like a moron and walk like a penguin, go for it! And if you don’t care how you look, that’s fine too. Wear what you want with pride. It’s sad that clothes make the man, or woman for that matter, and we aren't judged on who we are instead.
(I would have taken some photos to illustrate my point, but [no pun intended] I didn't want to get arrested for running around the mall, taking pics of women's butts.)
Be good,
Grey
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Zombie A Day
Go check out Erica Hesse's Zombie A Day blog. She is cranking out some great stuff. Generic and famous people all get Erica's zombification treatment. Day 37 is my favorite so far.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Your mom has got it going on.
I can't believe myself and 1,900 bloggers put "your mom" as an interest.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
It’s the End of the World As We Know It...
and I don’t feel fine.
To borrow something from Chris Rock and twist it a bit for my own use, I love the human race, but I hate people. To quote comedian Bill Hicks, “People are a virus with shoes”. People fuck shit up all the time. Yes, there are good and bad people, and guess what, the bad people are winning. I admit, some things are getting better. Less racism, genderism, (Yeah, I’m making up words. If George W. Bush can do it, so can I and I didn’t go to Yale. At least I admit it that I make up words.) ageism, and even gay/lesbian-ism has gotten better. (But we need a helluva lot work on that one.) But you can’t tell me that lookism (where people are judged by their appearance) has gotten better.
You would think with all of the advances over several thousand years of existence, the human race would be better off than it is. I don’t think we are better off. We travel through space, we cure diseases, we have light beer in aluminum bottles (And in case you didn’t know, aluminum doesn’t keep beer colder because aluminum is a conductor and transfers the heat from your hand faster to the beer while glass is an insulator and the transfer of heat is slower. Just another lie marketers and corporations tell you.), but your pay hasn’t kept up with the rising cost of living, more and more families have both parents working where just 20 years ago most families had a parent home to take care of the kids, and goddammit, I can’t go to a PG-13 or R rated movie without some moron, that shouldn’t be breeding in the first place, bringing an infant or a toddler to ruin my movie going experience!
“But Grey, what about all of the technological advances? Certainly they have made life better?” Don’t get me wrong. I love my computer, my dvds, and my cds and all the other tech “toys” that living in the 21st century has afforded us. But I’d give it all up to (cliche alert) live in a world where people are good to each other, where hate isn’t spewed through the airwaves just to get ratings, and some jerk at a restaurant isn’t going spit on your food. Technology isn’t going to make living with each other any easier. A cell phone with a camera in it isn’t going to make your boss any less of a jerk. Unfortunately, only the humans can make living with each other easier.
I do love the human race and want to see it succeed. I’m not very optimistic at this point. I’ve always been more of a realist than an optimist or pessimist. And at this point I think we are headed towards more of a “Mad Max” future than a “Star Trek” future. Except, I don’t think there is a Max that will save us.
Shit, I sound really preachy, don’t I? Oh, well. That wasn’t my intent. I just wanted to point these things out. And I’m not here to argue with anyone. I just want things to be better. Is that so wrong?
Be good, love each other, love yourself,
Grey
To borrow something from Chris Rock and twist it a bit for my own use, I love the human race, but I hate people. To quote comedian Bill Hicks, “People are a virus with shoes”. People fuck shit up all the time. Yes, there are good and bad people, and guess what, the bad people are winning. I admit, some things are getting better. Less racism, genderism, (Yeah, I’m making up words. If George W. Bush can do it, so can I and I didn’t go to Yale. At least I admit it that I make up words.) ageism, and even gay/lesbian-ism has gotten better. (But we need a helluva lot work on that one.) But you can’t tell me that lookism (where people are judged by their appearance) has gotten better.
You would think with all of the advances over several thousand years of existence, the human race would be better off than it is. I don’t think we are better off. We travel through space, we cure diseases, we have light beer in aluminum bottles (And in case you didn’t know, aluminum doesn’t keep beer colder because aluminum is a conductor and transfers the heat from your hand faster to the beer while glass is an insulator and the transfer of heat is slower. Just another lie marketers and corporations tell you.), but your pay hasn’t kept up with the rising cost of living, more and more families have both parents working where just 20 years ago most families had a parent home to take care of the kids, and goddammit, I can’t go to a PG-13 or R rated movie without some moron, that shouldn’t be breeding in the first place, bringing an infant or a toddler to ruin my movie going experience!
“But Grey, what about all of the technological advances? Certainly they have made life better?” Don’t get me wrong. I love my computer, my dvds, and my cds and all the other tech “toys” that living in the 21st century has afforded us. But I’d give it all up to (cliche alert) live in a world where people are good to each other, where hate isn’t spewed through the airwaves just to get ratings, and some jerk at a restaurant isn’t going spit on your food. Technology isn’t going to make living with each other any easier. A cell phone with a camera in it isn’t going to make your boss any less of a jerk. Unfortunately, only the humans can make living with each other easier.
I do love the human race and want to see it succeed. I’m not very optimistic at this point. I’ve always been more of a realist than an optimist or pessimist. And at this point I think we are headed towards more of a “Mad Max” future than a “Star Trek” future. Except, I don’t think there is a Max that will save us.
Shit, I sound really preachy, don’t I? Oh, well. That wasn’t my intent. I just wanted to point these things out. And I’m not here to argue with anyone. I just want things to be better. Is that so wrong?
Be good, love each other, love yourself,
Grey
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